Thing I Learned Today

1/9/2008 - Polar Bear Blogs

2008-01-09T14:52:00.000-05:00

"The zoo has said it wants to avoid any repetition of "Knut mania", a popular craze triggered by a hand-reared bear cub at Berlin Zoo last year.

"Knut was rejected by his mother, but Berlin Zoo decided to hand rear him.

"Since then Knut has become a worldwide celebrity, with a blog and TV show dedicated to him."

I can almost understand a blog, considering how easy that is to upkeep, as well as the interest and possible tourist trade the zoo does require, but... television? Really?

1/1/2008 - Charlie Wilson's Effigy

2008-01-02T00:26:00.000-05:00

Charlie Wilson's Effigy
From: New York Times

"Charles E. Wilson, the former secretary of defense whose severe curtailment of the Germans’ work was blamed by some as having allowed the Soviet Union to beat America to space with Sputnik, was burned in effigy."

12/24/2007 - Simpson's Blonde Ambition Earnings on Par with Ambitious Porn-Stars

2007-12-24T11:24:00.000-05:00

Simpson's Blonde Ambition Earnings on Par with Ambitious Porn-Stars
From: Worstpreviews.com

Jessica Simpson starred in a movie. It was called Blonde Ambition. This skimmed under your radar as well. It saw a limited release of eight theaters, all in Texas.

"Earning $1,300 at eight theaters, means that each theater made $162. With ticket prices at about $7.50 in Texas, that means that a total of seven people went to see the movie each day at each theater."

11/20/2007 - Senile in Japanese Prison

2007-11-20T02:03:00.000-05:00

Senile in Japanese Prison
From: NyTimes.com

"From 2000 to 2006, the number of older criminals soared by 160 percent, to 46,637, from 17,942, according to Japan’s National Police Agency. Shoplifting accounted for 54 percent of the total in 2006 and petty theft for 23 percent.

"As a result, penitentiaries are struggling to adapt environments designed with the young in mind to a lawbreaking population that is fragile physically and often mentally.

"A recent Justice Ministry report said that older people were increasingly turning to crime out of poverty and isolation, suggesting a breakdown in traditional family and community ties. With nowhere else to go, more of the older inmates serve out their full sentences, instead of being released on parole like younger prisoners. What is more, recidivism is higher among the older inmates."

11/09/2007 - The Black Book - Special Search List Great Britain

2007-11-09T01:11:00.000-05:00

The Black Book - Special Search List Great Britain
From: Wikipedia.org

The Black Book was the post-war name given to the "Sonderfahndungsliste G.B.", German for "Special Search List Great Britain". It was a product of the SS Einsatzgruppen and contained the names of thousands of people living in Britain to be arrested if Operation Sealion, the invasion of Britain, succeeded.

Notable people on the list were:

Robert Baden-Powell - Founder and leader of Scouting - (Scouting was regarded as a 'spy organization' by the Nazis);
Eric Blair aka George Orwell - for anti-totalitarian views
Neville Chamberlain - a leading British politician;
Winston Churchill - for being a prominent anti-Nazi/Prime Minister;
Noel Coward - possibly for being an armed forces entertainer as well as his homosexuality or for working for MI5;
Sigmund Freud - for being Jewish ;
George Bernard Shaw - for openly ridiculing the Nazis
H. G. Wells - for being a socialist;

11/04/2007 - How You Will Die

2007-11-04T17:16:00.000-05:00

How you will die
From: NyTimes.com

Risk	Annual Deaths	Lifetime risk
Heart disease	652,486	1 in 5
Cancer	553,888	1 in 7
Stroke	150,074	1 in 24
Hospital infections	99,000	1 in 38
Flu	59,664	1 in 63
Car accidents	44,757	1 in 84
Suicide	31,484	1 in 119
Accidental poisoning	19,456	1 in 193
MRSA (resistant bacteria)	19,000	1 in 197
Falls	17,229	1 in 218
Drowning	3,306	1 in 1,134
Bike accident	762	1 in 4,919
Air/space accident	742	1 in 5,051
Excessive cold	620	1 in 6,045
Sun/heat exposure	273	1 in 13,729
Shark attack*	62	1 in 60,453
Lightning	47	1 in 79, 746
Train crash	24	1 in 156,169
Fireworks	11	1 in 340,733

11/04/2007 - The Sound of Calm after Armageddon

2007-11-04T17:12:00.000-05:00

The Sound of Calm after Armageddon
From: Wikipedia.org

"During the Cold War, BBC planned to broadcast The Sound of Music on radio in the event of a nuclear strike on the United Kingdom. The broadcast would be part of an emergency timetable of programs designed to "reassure" the public in the aftermath of the attack."

10/23/2007 - Ecumenical

2007-10-23T15:44:00.000-04:00

ecumenical
From: Dictionary.com

ecumenical –adjective

1.	general; universal.

2.	pertaining to the whole Christian church.

3.	promoting or fostering Christian unity throughout the world.

4.	of or pertaining to a movement (ecumenical movement), esp. among Protestant groups since the 1800s, aimed at achieving universal Christian unity and church union through international interdenominational organizations that cooperate on matters of mutual concern.

5.	interreligious or interdenominational: an ecumenical marriage.

6.	including or containing a mixture of diverse elements or styles; mixed: an ecumenical meal of German, Italian, and Chinese dishes.

10/18/2007 - Hitler not a Welles Fan

2007-10-18T14:31:00.001-04:00

Hitler Not a Welles Fan
From: Wikipedia.org

"Their October 30 broadcast, H. G. Wells' The War of the Worlds, brought Welles notoriety and instant fame on both a national and international level. The fortuitous mixture of news bulletin format with the between-breaks dial spinning habits of listeners from the rival and far more popular Edgar Bergen/Charlie McCarthy program, created widespread confusion among late tuners. Panic spread among many listeners who believed the news reports of an actual Martian invasion. The resulting panic was duly reported around the world and disparagingly mentioned by Adolf Hitler in a public speech a few months later."

10/18/2007 - Beavering

2007-10-18T14:29:00.000-04:00

Beavering
From: Dictionary.com

bea·ver·ing
To work diligently and energetically.

Oooooo Canada... we stand on guard for thee... true patriot love...

10/15/2007 - Even for free

2007-10-15T18:40:00.000-04:00

Even for Free
From: Demonoid.com

This is an actual torrent for an actual film. Someone made this. Someone wrote this. Someone is serious about this.

"Details for Illuminati and HOW TO TAKE THEM DOWN

"I have put this information package together (many more to come) and I will spread this word until they lock me up, or kill me!
"I encourage you all to do the same.

"The TRUE lord is coming, and our time to act is NOW!

"DO NOT HATE THESE PEOPLE, PITY THEM, FORGIVE THEM, LOVE THEM!

"For this is our greatest weapon, these people's spiritual minds have been so distorted by the OCCULT that, hating them is EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT!!

"Be positive

"Peace, Love & Unity"

He's definitely right. We should not hate them, pity them, forgive them, or love them.

At the same time: The Illuminati: How to TAKE THEM DOWN?

I assume you get a tarp, some duct tape and put on your running shoes. Then, in mass, run into their evil dens and giggle loudly.

10/08/2007 - Equanimity

2007-10-08T22:32:00.000-04:00

Equanimity
From: Dictionary.com

e·qua·nim·i·ty [ee-kwuh-nim-i-tee, ek-wuh-]
–noun
mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.

10/08/2007 - Pimps At Sea

2007-10-08T21:25:00.000-04:00

Pimps at Sea
From: Wikipedia.org

Certified for new Job. Pretending to have more spare time. Getting back into news and LEARNING. First stop: Pimps and the Sea.

"Pimps at Sea is an April Fool joke that was started on Bungie Studios' website in 2001. It has been added to in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, and 2007 on each April Fool's Day. Pimps at Sea is supposedly a combination of action and real-time strategy and claims to have the most complex economic system ever to appear in a game. As such, it is possible that Pimps is a spoofSid Meier's Pirates!, a classic game that shares a similar theme. The storyline centers around the player, a pimp of the sea. The player can create custom prostitutes from characters of other games, and then put them out on the streets (or canals, as it may be)."

"It is highly likely that Pimps at Sea will return for many more April Fools to come, as it joins Bungie's already large stable of running gags and characters, including their 7-Step Plan for World Domination, and the chronically drunken webmaster - who has a penchant for both gorilla suits and bashing the grammar of those who dare to email him."

09/22/2007 - Current Internet Meme: Do not utilize your Taser on Me, Brother

2007-09-22T16:24:00.001-04:00

Current Internet Meme: Do not utilize your Taser on Me, Brother
From: Wired.blogs

"Just two days after it was yelled out in a University of Florida lecture hall, "Don't Tase Me, Bro!" has become the newest cultural touchstone of our pop-cultural lexicon."

Facts!

"- Several enterprising individuals have even snapped up variations of the spelling of the phrase as Web addresses. One of them points to a Wikipedia entry for the University of Florida.
- A couple of t-shirt designs, and bumper stickers have emerged.
- The term hovered between 9th and 11th place as the most searched for term on Google for Wednesday, according to Google Trends."

Douchebag (he did have an annoying voice) with a book (Greg Palast's Armed Madhouse) tries to utilize knowledge gained from book (good book) against a politician in open forum, gets tasered, internet giggles.

Students should have four taser free years to be dicks to all politicians. They should DREAD speaking in an open forum. No more coddling Former Candidate Loserfuck. Stand up to a book. Don't let the organizers and cops do it for you. Nickelback has more accountability than Kerry and Bush do.

Also: Fuck the students who screamed and remained sitting. You bloody cowards.

09/10/2007 - Iron Man features Iron Man

2007-09-10T19:59:00.001-04:00

Iron Man Features Iron Man
From: Apple.com/trailers

The motion picture, IRON MAN, will feature the Black Sabbath Song, IRON MAN in the soundtrack, and likely also film.

All is now right with the world.

09/07/2007 - Parents Protect Children from Television Through Chart

2007-09-07T09:49:00.001-04:00

Parents Protect Children from Television Through Chart
From: Parents Television Council

Profaning Jesus Christ - A new sitcom from the Producers of Six Feet Under, where foul mouthed Jesus tries to make ends meet and scratch out a living in New York.

09/06/2007 - Standing-Up

2007-09-06T23:42:00.000-04:00

Standing-Up
From: Wikipedia.org

"Standup may refer to more than one thing:"

But only one of those three.

09/05/2007 - ONLY BREAD SHOULD BE IN LOAF FORM

2007-09-05T01:27:00.000-04:00

ONLY BREAD SHOULD BE IN LOAF FORM
From: Wikipedia

"Scrapple is a savory mush in which cornmeal and flour, often buckwheat flour, are simmered with pork scraps and trimmings, then formed into a loaf. Small scraps of meat left over from butchering, too small to be used or sold elsewhere, were made into scrapple to avoid waste. Scrapple is best known as a regional food of Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland."

ONLY BREAD SHOULD BE IN LOAF FORM.

09/04/2007 - Globalized Pirates Dress Smart

2007-09-04T12:31:00.000-04:00

Globalized Pirates Dress Smart
From: New York Times

"“If I see something on Style.com, all I have to do is e-mail the picture to my factory and say, ‘I want something similar, or a silhouette made just like this,’ ” Ms. Anand said. The factory, in Jaipur, India, can deliver stores a knockoff months before the designer version."

Piracy has become more visceral than data, music and film. It challenges everything.

How do you stop it? You don't. You find new ways to challenge convention and get your product on the street and more accessible than the knock-off.

09/03/2007 - Burning Man's Premature Arsonists

2007-09-03T16:59:00.000-04:00

Burning Man's Premature Arsonists
From: Wired

"Wired News: So the big question is, did you set the Man on fire?"

"Paul Addis: For legal reasons I can't answer that. One of us is looking at a felony charge, and it's not you."

08/27/07 - Cattle Passports

2007-08-27T22:43:00.000-04:00

Cattle Passports
From: Toronto Star

"Residents of Murshidabad, a district bordering Bangladesh, were asked earlier this year to prepare identification photos for all local cattle.

"The ID cards are being issued by the local administration to help the Indian Border Security Force and police intercept cattle smuggled across the border.

"According to one estimate, at least 25,000 cows are smuggled into Bangladesh every day from India, mostly through the Indian state of West Bengal."

Cattle smuggling is, clearly, not only economically viable, but immensely well organized.

08/17/08 - Eunuch

2007-08-17T23:34:00.000-04:00

Eunuch
From: Dictionary.com

eu·nuch - (yōō'nək)
n.

A castrated man employed as a harem attendant or as a functionary in certain Asian courts.
A man or boy whose testes are nonfunctioning or have been removed.
Informal An ineffectual, powerless, or unmasculine man.

08/11/2007 - Hermetically

2007-08-11T11:32:00.000-04:00

Hermetically
From: Dictionary.com

her·met·i·cal·ly [hur-met-ik-lee]
–adverb
so as to be airtight: hermetically sealed.

08/10/2007 - They love the Ferrets

2007-08-10T10:11:00.000-04:00

They love the ferrets
From: Wikipedia.org

The Wikipedia page on ferrets is clearly routinely updated by ferret fanatics, finally able to find a semi-legitimizing output for the many pictures they have of their ferrets.

Here are some of the captions for pictures under "ferret"
Ferrets sleeping in a pile
Ferret crawling under recliner
Ferret waking from a nap
An albino ferret getting caught off guard while yawning
Ferret playing tug with a hair pick
Ferret playing in dryer vent tube
Child with ferrets
Ferrets at play
Ferrets enjoy playing with just about everything
Ferret dragging off toy to hide
Ferret after a shower

Also note:
"In a commercial for Diet Mountain Dew, a ferret walks through the woods with a hockey mask and a chainsaw, chasing two teens, after which the commercial says that ferrets attack more people than grizzly bears."

08/10/2007 - Dog Killing Weasels

2007-08-10T10:03:00.000-04:00

Dog Killing Weasels
From: Reuters.co.uk

"The black-footed ferret, once the rarest mammal in the world, has made an astonishing comeback in the U.S. state of Wyoming after a captive breeding programme, researchers said on Thursday.

"An estimated 223 of the weasel-like animals are busy hunting prairie dogs in the Shirley Basin area, the researchers report in this week's issue of the journal Science."

"Black-footed ferrets were driven nearly to extinction by two factors: the eradication of their main food source, prairie dogs, by ranchers, and a disease called sylvan plague."

I know that a Prairie Dog is smaller than a regular dog and a ferret is not a weasel, but the thought of a weasel taking down a ferret like a wolverine takes down a deer is great.

08/07/2007 - What the hell did you do to Shaolin Soccer

2007-08-07T21:02:00.001-04:00

What the hell did you do to Shaolin Soccer
From: Wikipedia

"Miramax has come under criticism for its editing, dubbing, and replacing the soundtracks of various foreign films it releases. One notable example is Iron Monkey, which though released subtitled, had its subtitles altered to remove the political context of the story, had scenes trimmed and changed for violence and pacing, and had the soundtrack changed, removing the famous Wong Fei Hung theme. Other films that they have altered in this way include Shaolin Soccer, Farewell My Concubine (theatrical release) and Jet Li's Fist of Legend, which was released both edited and dubbed, with no option to watch the DVD subtitled."

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO SHAOLIN SOCCER

08/06/2007 - Orson Welles Humble Origins

2007-08-06T19:46:00.000-04:00

Orson Welles Humble Origins
From: F for Fake

I'm ad-libbing from F for Fake.

When Welles was 16, he decide to become a painter, bought an ox, a cart, and loaded it full of paints and canvases and traveled across the Irish countryside.

When winter was setting in, he was broke and had no more paints or canvases, so he sold everything, move to London and lied to a number of theaters saying he was a famous American actor. This put him on stage as the top billing.

He entered performance from the top and as he says, "have been working my way down ever since."

This COULD NEVER happen here anymore. Even the theater losers have an internet connection.

08/05/2007 - Weather Modification Department

2007-08-05T02:23:00.000-04:00

Weather Modification Department
From: Asia Times Online

"According to Wang Guanghe, director of the Weather Modification Department under the Chinese Academy of Meteorological Sciences, each of China's more than 30 provinces and province-level municipalities today boast a weather-modification base, employing more than 32,000 people, 7,100 anti-aircraft guns, 4,991 special rocket launchers and 30-odd aircraft across the country.

""Ours is the largest artificial weather program in the world in terms of equipment, size and budget," Wang said, adding that the annual nationwide budget for weather modification is between US$60 million and $90 million."

Here's the clincher: They actually modify the weather. Artificially sponsored rainfall - the works.

"And now China's weather officials have been charged with another important task: ensuring clear skies for the Summer Olympic Games next year."

And they already found a way to sell out on the science.

07/22/2007 - Surreptitious

2007-07-22T23:41:00.001-04:00

Surreptitious
From: Dictionary.com

sur·rep·ti·tious [sur-uhp-tish-uhs] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective

1.	obtained, done, made, etc., by stealth; secret or unauthorized; clandestine: a surreptitious glance.

2.	acting in a stealthy way.

3.	obtained by subreption; subreptitious.

07/22/2007 - Austere

2007-07-22T23:40:00.001-04:00

Austere
From: Dictionary.com

aus·tere [aw-steer] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective

1.	severe in manner or appearance; uncompromising; strict; forbidding: an austere teacher.

2.	rigorously self-disciplined and severely moral; ascetic; abstinent: the austere quality of life in the convent.

3.	grave; sober; solemn; serious: an austere manner.

07/18/2007 - Schadenfreude

2007-07-18T23:28:00.000-04:00

Schadenfreude
From: Wikipedia.org

Schadenfreude (help·info) is a German word meaning 'pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune'. It has been borrowed by the English language^[1] and is sometimes also used as a loanword by other languages.

The English language borrows NOTHING. It assimilates, and places in a large book with bootylicious and ginormous in accordance with the remnants of the Treaty of Versailles.

07/16/2007 - Comp Sci Nerds Nerdy in 1982

2007-07-16T12:17:00.000-04:00

Comp Sci Nerds Nerdy in 1982
From: Scientific American.

"The first computer virus was ... Created by a mischievous Pittsburgh high school student, Elk Cloner annoyed unwitting Apple II users with a brief poem extolling its power to proliferate:"

"It will get on all your disks
"It will infiltrate your chips
"Yes it's Cloner! … "

First of all, his name is ELK CLONER.
Second, he refers to himself in the THIRD PERSON.
And he is on your computer - stealing none of your disks - RHYMING. Poorly.

I don't care if he works at Google sitting in a wading pool full of money, watching me with a satellite and rubbing himself, his name is ELK CLONER. And he created the virus and never got laid as a result.

07/16/2007 - urSession

2007-07-16T00:06:00.001-04:00

urSession
From: Rolling Stone

"Shavo Odadjian is introducing urSession.com, an online community that doubles as a record label. “It’s the first online label to actually audition artists via audio uploads and video uploads,” Odadjian explains. And in true democratic SOAD fashion, the people will have a voice: “I thought if urSession could be a big art-district community, so then the community votes for who I sign. So after a 10-month, 11-month running of artists, whoever gets the most votes, I go over and I sign.”"

The end of the traditional record label is NIGH.

NIGH I SAY!

07/12/2007 - Fakers with Money buy Nukes

2007-07-12T14:29:00.001-04:00

Fakers with Money buy nukes
from: Reuters.com

"Undercover investigators, working for a fake firm, obtained a license to buy enough radioactive material to build a "dirty bomb," amid little scrutiny from federal regulators, according to a government report obtained on Wednesday.

"The GAO, which set up the sting, said the NRC approved the license after a couple of faxes and phones calls and then mailed it to the phony company's headquarters -- a drop box at a United Parcel Service location.

""From the date of application to the issuance of the license, the entire process lasted 28 days," the GAO said. "GAO investigators essentially obtained a valid materials license from the NRC without ever leaving their desks.""

World Dooming Devices are exactly like Credit Cards. You just need mailbox to get one.

07/11/2007 - Water

2007-07-11T21:20:00.000-04:00

Water
From: BBC News

"Astronomers have found water vapour in the atmosphere of a giant planet outside our Solar System.

"It is only the second time water has been detected on an exoplanet."

This does not bother me. The size of the universe (ie. nigh infinite) statically means the Earth CANNOT be special. Why should it's contents be?

What of the humble Theologist? He thinks he is damned special. But now, the water he drinks isn't. Poor sot.

Also:
Someday we are going to find a planet made of 90% Coca Cola.

07/11/2007 - Royal Nepal - Broke, Next, Britain?

2007-07-11T21:13:00.000-04:00

Royal Nepal - Broke, Next, Britain?
From: BBC

"Nepal's government has decided to stop paying all allowances to King Gyanendra and other senior royals, reports say.

"The king and senior royals received $500,000 last year. Finance ministry officials were quoted saying 700 royal household staff would still be paid.

"The future of the embattled monarch has been in question since mass protests forced him to end 15 months of direct rule in April 2006."

Come on Britain. Nepal is showing you the way, AGAIN. Force the Queen to apply for Unemployment and then get her off our money.

07/10/2007 - The English Language

2007-07-10T00:22:00.000-04:00

The English Language
From: Wikipedia.org

"In the English language expression to kick the bucket, for example, a listener knowing only the meaning of kick and bucket would be unable to deduce the expression's actual meaning, which is to die. Although it can refer literally to the act of striking a specific bucket with a foot, native speakers rarely use it that way. It cannot be directly translated to other languages – for example, the same expression in Polish is to kick the calendar, with the calendar being as detached from its usual meaning as the bucket in the English phrase is. The same expression in Dutch is het loodje leggen (to lay the piece of lead), which is entirely different from the English expression, too."

The English language: If you understand what's being said, it's law.

07/08/2007 - Kremlin can be many things

2007-07-08T21:07:00.000-04:00

Kremlin can be many things
From: Wikipedia.org

"Kremlin is the Russian word for "fortress", "citadel", or "castle" and refers to any major fortified central complex found in historical Russian cities. This word is often used to refer to the best known one, the Moscow Kremlin, or the government that is based there."

Ah. It's ambiguous.

07/04/2007 - Russo-lympics

2007-07-04T20:45:00.000-04:00

Russo-lympics
From: Yahoo

"The International Olympic Committee has the honor of announcing the 22nd Olympic Winter Games in 2014 are awarded to the city of Sochi."

In Soviet Union, there only Winter, Super-Winter, and Soviet Winter. In Soviet Winter, it cold, but you are not allowed to speak badly about government.

"Russian delegates in the hall erupted in cheers, jumped to their feet and hugged each other. They unfurled a Russian flag and chanted, "Sochi! Sochi!" Korean delegates bowed their heads, some in tears."

All cry when Soviet Union victorious!

"It was a historic decision for all countries," Sochi bid chief Dmitry Chernychenko said. "Russia will become even more open, more democratic."

Yes. There is no opportunity for legendary Russian Corruption. Especially not when building large stadium, taking in large number of tourists, and creating committee after committee to address food, accommodation, drug and heat. 100% Democratic, will be. Yes.

07/03/2007 - Bush Remembered

2007-07-03T00:04:00.000-04:00

Bush Remembered
From: Washingtonpost

"At the nadir of his presidency, George W. Bush is looking for answers. One at a time or in small groups, he summons leading authors, historians, philosophers and theologians to the White House to join him in the search.

"Over sodas and sparkling water, he asks his questions: What is the nature of good and evil in the post-Sept. 11 world? What lessons does history have for a president facing the turmoil I'm facing? How will history judge what we've done? Why does the rest of the world seem to hate America? Or is it just me they hate?"

He should fuck a pelican last day in office.

07/03/2007 - The THOMPSON MOVES

2007-07-02T23:52:00.000-04:00

The THOMPSON MOVES
From: Yahoo

"While for a long time I have urged a pardon for Scooter, I respect the president's decision. This will allow a good American, who has done a lot for his country, to resume his life."
— Former Sen. Fred Thompson, R-Tenn.

HE LIVES!

06/30/2007 - Robotic Killing Machines

2007-06-30T22:13:00.001-04:00

Robotic Killing Machines
From: The Guardian

"Robots are infinitely brave. They have no hesitation in killing and feel no remorse. And the great thing is you don't have to send condolence letters to their families if you put them in harm's way," Mr Pike said."

Letters instead should be forwarded to designers and engineers who have just seen the passing of Viking 00144 - a compassionate, loving killing machine with a family, two thousand brothers, who would always do the right thing.

06/27/2007 - Deadwood's Not Dead, They just don't want to pay McShane

2007-06-27T17:14:00.000-04:00

Deadwood's Not Dead, They just don't want to pay McShane
From: Wikipedia

"On May 13, 2006, HBO confirmed it has opted not to pick up the options of the actors, which were set to expire on June 11, 2006. This means that a fourth season with the current cast as it stands is unlikely, though HBO has stressed that the show is not cancelled and talks regarding its future are ongoing. The chance of the show returning in its current state of cast and crew, however, is limited.

"On June 5, 2006, HBO and creator David Milch agreed to make two two-hour telefilms in place of a fourth season, after Milch declined a short-order of 6 episodes. This is because in the show's original form, each season was only a few weeks in length, with each episode being one day, in the town of Deadwood. The final two-hour format will release these time restraints and allow for a broader narrative to finish off the series.^[4]

"In a January 13, 2007, interview, David Milch stated that he still intends to finish the 2 films, if possible."

06/27/2007 - Poets go to War

2007-06-26T19:07:00.000-04:00

Poets go to War
From: Wikipedia

"A precedent of the [cut-up] technique occurred during a Surrealist rally in the 1920s: Tristan Tzara offered to create a poem on the spot by pulling words at random from a hat. A riot ensued and André Breton expelled Tzara from the movement."

Also, in YOUASSHOLE/OFCOURSE News,

"Thom Yorke applied a similar method [to cut-up] in Radiohead's Kid A (2000) album, writing single lines, putting them into a hat, and drawing them out at random while the band rehearsed the songs."

06/20/2007 - Yojimbo, legally, worth 100,000 grand from Fistful

2007-06-21T23:35:00.000-04:00

Yojimbo, legally, worth 100,000 grand from Fistful
From: Wikipedia

"Although the film was advertised in trailers as "the first film of its kind", the plot and even the cinematography was based almost entirely on Akira Kurosawa's film Yojimbo (written by Kurosawa and Ryuzo Kikushima).

"Kurosawa remained insistent that he receive compensation. He wrote Leone: "It is a very fine film, but it is my film."[1] The producers of Yojimbo successfully sued the production of A Fistful of Dollars for copyright infringement and gained an apology, $100,000 dollars and 15% of the box office totals in Asia to the movie in compensation. Kurosawa later admitted he quite liked A Fistful of Dollars and considered it a worthy remake."

Today, that would have been a steal.

06/19/2007 - Someone thought this was a good idea

2007-06-19T22:09:00.000-04:00

Someone thought this was a good idea
From: Itunes New Music Day of Sadness E-mail

"Instant Karma: The Campaign to Save Darfur features artists including U2, Jack Johnson, and Avril Lavigne performing songs by John Lennon."

UPDATE

OH FUCK ME

Track Listing:
10. Imagine -- Avril Lavigne

06/17/2007 - DVD Regions

2007-06-17T23:54:00.000-04:00

DVD Regions
From: Wikipedia

Region 1 is used in several contexts to refer to the first of several numbered regions. On an international basis, this can refer to:

DVD Region 1: Bermuda, Canada, the United States and U.S. territories
ITU Region 1: Europe, Africa, the Middle East except Iran, the former Soviet Union, Mongolia, and Antarctica between 20°W and 60°E.

Region 2 is used in several contexts to refer to the second of several numbered regions. On an international basis, this can refer to:

DVD Region 2: Europe and West Asia (except the former Soviet Union), Egypt, Iran, French overseas territories, Greenland, Japan, Lesotho, South Africa and Swaziland.
ITU Region 2: The Americas and Hawaii, and Antarctica between 120° W and 20° W.

I finally know what to say to those Australians that come into work and demand to know which is which.

06/16/2007 - Nom De Guerre

2007-06-16T02:06:00.000-04:00

Nom De Guerre
From: Wikipedia

"The most common example [of pseudonym] is when a woman assumes her husband's surname without resorting to the formal statutory process (i.e. by petitioning a court; a few American states have a statutory provision for recording a new name at marriage.) Note that in some States only the given and surnames form the legal name; "a middle name or initial is not material in any legal proceeding."

"Pseudonyms are adopted by resistance fighters, terrorists and guerrillas often to make enquiries more difficult, to create and maintain an aura of mystery, and to protect their families from reprisal, although other reasons often may exist. The expression nom de guerre (/nɔ̃ də ˈgeʀ/, "name of war") is often used for such pseudonyms, though this expression is rarely, if ever, actually used in French. It is occasionally used as a stylish substitute for nom de plume."

"The assigning and adopting of noms de guerre was a long standing tradition in the French army; it certainly existed before 1651. In 1716 the practice became more formalised and the French army required all regular soldiers to have a nom de guerre. The names could be arrived at through the choice of the soldier, or perhaps the soldier’s company captain. Some of the naming practices adopted by particular companies enabled the men to be identifiable as members of their companies, much like a serial number: Practices such as assigning men the names of vegetables (the Company of Casaux of the Régiment de Boulonnois-infantrie, between 1764 to 1768) existed.

"These names would be retained by the soldiers when they left service and would often be passed on to their wives and children. As a result, it is important to understand the old French practice of assigning noms de guerre when tracing French family histories."

^{These, naturally, include the old Communist Party Names - Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, Ho Chi Minh.}Carlos the Jackal for Ilich Ramírez Sánchez is just a good example. Stalin's got fuckall on the Jackal.

06/14/2007 - The State of the Music Industry

2007-06-14T22:59:00.001-04:00

The State of the Music Industry
From: Guardian

"Britain's music shops were given some badly needed good news yesterday with industry figures showing British shoppers led the world in CD purchases in 2006.

"Despite the growing popularity of downloads, UK physical music sales held up strongly last year and Britons bought an average of 2.7 CDs each, according to the Entertainment Retailers Association."

"CD sales per person in 2006
Britain 2.7
US 2.1
Norway 2.1
Ireland 1.9
Australia 1.9
Denmark 1.8
Belgium 1.7
Sweden 1.7
Switzerland 1.7
Japan 1.5
New Zealand 1.5
Canada 1.5"

As well. Musicians review classic albums they think are crap, and proove themselves to be no better than petty bloggers:

"Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon
"Nominated by Tjinder Singh of Cornershop

"This album is a sort of lab experiment, put together by scarf-wearing university types. There's a certain irony in a song like Money that takes pot-shots at greedy corporations, when this album made so much money."

Yeah! Fuck you for making money! Why don't you go sit in your castle!

"The Doors LA Woman
"Nominated by Craig Finn of the Hold Steady

"The Velvets did nihilism and darkness so much better - they were so much more understated;"

Seriously, who listens to music for it's theme?

"Arcade Fire The Neon Bible
"Nominated by Green Gartside of Scritti Politti

"People who enjoy this album may think I'm cloth-eared and unperceptive, and I accept it's the result of my personal shortcomings, but what I hear in Arcade Fire is an agglomeration of mannerisms, cliches and devices."

His memory of classic musics extends to January of this year.

06/10/2007 - Pentagon's Super Duper Gay Orgy Bomb Party

2007-06-10T21:42:00.001-04:00

Pentagon's Super Duper Gay Orgy Bomb Party
From: BBC News

"The US military investigated building a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers "sexually irresistible" to each other, government papers say.

"The US defence department considered various non-lethal chemicals meant to disrupt enemy discipline and morale.

"The 1994 plans were for a six-year project costing $7.5m, but they were never pursued."

Ignore the fact that the Pentagon believed that they could drop a bomb that could make everyone fuck everyone in their immediate vicinity. The interior logic, of course being that they're not Christians, and without Christ, everyone would be fucking everything that looked like it might have a hole.

But ignore that too.

We have come to dissociate the Pentagon from reality to the point that we can write off that they considered a orgy-bomb. We do not bat an eye that they tried to weaponize homosexuality to be used as a DISTRACTION.

And they had 7.5 million dollars lying around to think about it.

If you ran a cleaning business, and an employee kept insisting you spend your weekends at mind control classes because that's the best way to upsell... YOU WOULD FIRE HIM.

06/09/2007 - Verbs Derived from Personal Names

2007-06-09T11:17:00.000-04:00

Verbs Derived from Personal Names
From: Wikipedia

Guillotine
- To execute somebody by decapitation with a guillotine.
- From: Joseph-Ignace Guillotin

Lynch
- To execute without a proper legal trial.
- From: William Lynch

Those I knew.

Boycott
- To abstain from using, buying, or dealing with someone or some organisation as an expression of protest or as a means of coercion.
- From: Charles Boycott

Burke
- To suffocate.
- From: William Burke

Those I did not.

Bork
- To destroy a judicial nominee through a concerted attack on his character, background and philosophy.
- From: Robert Bork

Garn
- To vomit.
- From: Jake Garn

Those I refuse to believe.

And yet.

Garn:
"The spacesickness he experienced during the journey was so severe that NASA named the "Garn scale" of spacesickness after him, and he was quickly dubbed "Barfin' Jake" by his Senate colleagues."

Bork:
"According to The New York Times, the verb to bork might be defined as "to destroy a judicial nominee through a concerted attack on his character, background and philosophy."^[3] This definition stems from the history of the fight over Bork's nomination. Bork was widely lauded for his competence, but reviled for his political philosophy. In March 2002, the word was added to the Oxford English Dictionary under "Bork"; its definition extends beyond judicial nominees, stating that people who are Borked "usually [do so] with the aim of preventing [a person's] appointment to public office.""

06/05/2007 - Pinkerton's Bloody Boots

2007-06-05T20:23:00.001-04:00

Pinkerton's Bloody Boots
From: Wikipedia

"The Pinkerton National Detective Agency was a private U.S. security guard and detective agency established by Allan Pinkerton in 1850. Pinkerton had become famous when he foiled a plot to assassinate President-Elect Abraham Lincoln, who later hired Pinkerton agents for his personal security during the Civil War (although at the time of Lincoln's assassination, his security was no longer handled by Pinkerton, but by U.S. Army personnel). Pinkerton's agents performed services ranging from security guards to private military contracting work. During its height, the Pinkerton Detective Agency employed more agents than the standing army of the United States of America, causing the state of Ohio to outlaw the agency due to fears it could be hired out as a private army or militia."

The Pinkertons engaged in union filibustering, strike breaking, tracking outlaws and general violence across the US.

"The company now operates as a division of the Swedish security company Securitas AB."

"The Pinkerton Agency and several agents are featured in the HBO series Deadwood. Pinkertons are often referred to ominously or with contempt by several of the show's characters. In season 1, episode 3, Brom Garrett threatens action by the Pinkertons towards Swearengen, set in 1876. In season 3, originally aired in 2006, they were hired by the character of George Hearst."

06/05/2007 - General Butt Naked

2007-06-05T20:22:00.001-04:00

General Butt Naked
From: Coming Anarchy

"Liberia produced the most outrageously wild characters in its decade of war: General No-Mother-No-Father, General Peanut Butter, General Fuck-Me-Quick, General Dragon Master, General Housebreaker, and perhaps the most famous, General Butt Naked. This guy was particularly… erm… “visible.” He fought stripped to the buff save a pair of tennis shoes and a kalishnikov."

"He admitted to killing and ordering the killings of over 10,000 people and eating the hearts of some of his victims to solidify his charms and to fulfill the rules of his rituals… He said parts extracted from his victims were then sold on demand to traditional voodoo and witch doctors, who would in turn produce the necessary charms that were sold out to people who were seeking higher and public offices in Liberia."

From the General's Mouth:
"So, before leading my troops into battle, we would get drunk and drugged up, sacrifice a local teenager, drink their blood, then strip down to our shoes and go into battle wearing colourful wigs and carrying dainty purses we’d looted from civilians. We’d slaughter anyone we saw, chop their heads off and use them as soccer balls. We were nude, fearless, drunk and homicidal. We killed hundreds of people – so many I lost count. But in June last year God telephoned me and told me that I was not the hero I considered myself to be, so I stopped and became a preacher."

What if God had left a message?

06/04/2007 - Neo-Sexuality involves Spoons, Solitude and No-Screaming

2007-06-04T19:56:00.000-04:00

Neo-Sexuality involves Spoons, Solitude and No-Screaming
From: Spiegel.de/international/

"He has extensively probed this attraction to objects as part of his research into various forms of modern "neo-sexuality." The sexologist views this inclination as proof of his hypothesis that society is increasingly drifting into asexuality: "More and more people either openly declare or can be seen to live without any intimate or trusting relationship with another person," Sigusch says, adding that cities are populated by an entire army of socially isolated individuals: "Singles, isolated people, cultural sodomites, many perverts and sex addicts.""

Did not want to know that there is neo-sexuality. Did not want to think that somehow I was doing things in archaic ways.

No No No. Did not want to know that at all.

I'm going to have to hide from Mod-Blog for a week. If they are the future, I'm going to be chained by the balls to a Victorian-style bedroom giving tours in Pilgrim's clothing.

06/03/2007 - Battlestar Ends

2007-06-03T19:32:00.000-04:00

Battlestar Ends
From: LATimesblogs.com

"After weeks of speculation, the end is in fact near. According to a high level source at Sci Fi Channel parent company NBC Universal, the show will dock after its next 22-episode season, slated to kick off in early 2008.

"Sources say the decision came down from executive producers Ronald D. Moore and David Eick, who are said to feel creatively like this upcoming arc will be its last."

Wow. They've CREATIVELY decided to end the series. I haven't seen that since...

I miss Deadwood.

05/30/2007 - President Thompson

2007-05-30T15:03:00.000-04:00

President Thompson
From: USA Today

"Fred Dalton Thompson is planning to enter the presidential race over the Fourth of July holiday, announcing that week that he has already raised several million dollars and is being backed by insiders from the past three Republican administrations, Thompson advisers told The Politico."

It's over.

Thompson has an American name.
Thompson has an old, white, American Face.
Thompson was in Die Hard 2.

Oh? Didn't catch that? Thompson is an actor. They call him a CHARACTER ACTOR because he acts like a Senator. A politician. The Director the CIA. He acts in Senate breaks.

And actors can read a script to your face. By now, that will be refreshing.

Goodbye remember-9/11-okay-with-gays dude. This guy is a member of the Church of Christ. That's way more Christ than the regular church.

Goodbye former POW. This man has pretended to be in the Military, and you can rush to the store and rent it to proove it.

Goodbye hopeful black male. Goodbye female. They're running the whitest man they could find. A man so inviolable that cancer can't give him symptoms.

America - continue hiding your stash. They've picked the face of the enemy.

05/27/2007 - Creationism Pulls the T-Rex Card

2007-05-27T22:57:00.001-04:00

Creationism Pulls the T-Rex Card
From: BBC News

"Most geologists would say humans and dinosaurs were separated by more than 60 million years. And those dinosaurs have very sharp teeth!

""So do bears", says Ken, "but they eat nuts and berries! Remember, before the sin of Adam, the world was perfect. All creatures were vegetarian." One of the dinosaurs lets out a rather contradictory roar."

When dinosaurs got close to the houses and palaces, Moses and Jesus would routinely run out to the yard, barking loudly and smack spoons against pots to scare away the timid, 60 foot tall creatures who lusted for blood.

""In the card game of creationism, the Bible trumps science every time," she says."

Creationists remind me of people that have to use a calculator in the checkout at the grocery store, because they're tired of arguing that the lady gave them what "doesn't look like the right amount of change."

05/26/2007 - No Unicorns - Way to go Science

2007-05-26T01:15:00.001-04:00

No Unicorns - Way to go Science
From: Physorg.com

"Why are there no Unicorns? Perhaps horses develop in a way that cannot be easily modified to produce a Unicorn, so such creatures have never arisen. Or maybe Unicorn-like animals have been born in the past but because there is no advantage for a horse to have a horn, such creatures did not thrive and were weeded out by natural selection."

Thank you for answering your own question science. Let's move on.

"The riddle of the Unicorn remains but at least scientists now have a more rigorous mathematical and experimental framework in which to consider such issues."

NO! BAD SCIENCE!

Maybe because Unicorns fit under the category of FICTION, (otherwise known as SHIT WE MADE UP), and because we don't BELIEVE hard enough.

Why aren't there Talking Aligators or Nimble Wizards? HUH! I think those would be neat. Why's science not concerned about flying elephants or mermaids?

05/24/2007 - Immaculately Conceived Fish Murdered Almost Immediatly

2007-05-24T22:09:00.001-04:00

Immaculately Conceived Fish Murdered Almost Immediatly
From: Wired News

"The joint Northern Ireland-U.S. research, being published Wednesday in the Royal Society's peer-reviewed Biology Letter journal, analyzed the DNA of a shark born in 2001 in the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Neb. The shark was born in a tank with three potential mothers, none of whom had contact with a male hammerhead for at least three years."

Ooohhh. Magical. Mystical! Religious overtones! Quick! Someone CGI it and have Mike Meyer's voice dubbed over it!

"The baby was killed within hours of its birth by a stingray in the same tank."

Blah blah blah, Jesus shark, bleep blah bladdy blah blah, Steve Irwin, blordy blordy blah bloom.

05/22/2007 - 10 Most Common Passwords

2007-05-22T22:08:00.001-04:00

10 Most Common Passwords
From: PC Magazine

password
123456
qwerty
abc123
letmein
monkey
myspace1
password1
link182
(your first name)

Monkey?

05/21/2007 - The Silver Surfer will make you broke

2007-05-21T18:15:00.000-04:00

The Silver Surfer will Make you Broke
From: Newsrama

"The Franklin Mint has issued a press release about the coins, as well as an image of the Silver Surfer quarters, which corrects and clarifies earlier information:

"This summer, silver is the new gold standard – for movies, with the June 15 release of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and for movie promotions, as Twentieth Century Fox and the Franklin Mint join forces to create an original limited collector’s edition “Silver Surfer” U.S. quarter that will challenge movie goers to Search 4 $ilver."

This is The End, beautiful friend
This is The End, my only friend, The End

05/20/2007 - Curing the Blind

2007-05-20T23:09:00.000-04:00

Curing the Blind
From: Amazon.co.uk

The customer comment section for GIGLI:

"I was born blind, and suffered from epilepsy, which made for a very troubled life for me. To alieviate the pain of my existence, my girlfriend had bought me this DVD, so I could listen to Ben Affleck's accent, and Jennifer Lopez's beautiful voice. It was during the first 'viewing' that a miracle happened. For I had regained my sight during the opening credits, and my severe epilepsy had gone. My eyes were stunned by seeing objects, colours, the people I love, all because of the magic of this film. Other strange events were also taking place at this time-Blackburn were awarded a penalty, Tony Blair annouced he was to leave office and Lilly Allen had shut up.

"It can be said that this film enhances your life in a very real way, and my cure from life imparing ailments are a testiment to this true miracle of the cinema. If your child has a terminal illness buy this."

If Wicca, Voodoo, and Orthodontists cannot save your child, try one of the worst movies of all times. It has also been known to get paralysis victims leaping to their feet, grabbing the television and hurling it through the window. Then they break into drum solos.

05/19/2007 - Silent Majority Alarms

2007-05-19T19:58:00.000-04:00

Silent Majority Alarms
From: Silent Majority NY Petition Group

"Silent Majority campaigns against the worst aspect of New York City life: the car alarm. Armed with these devices, anxious car owners rouse sleepers, disturb readers, interrupt conversations, and send disgusted citizens to the suburbs. And yet, despite the sound and fury, car alarms do nothing whatever to prevent car theft. Nothing."

NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! PUT ALARMS IN YOUR CAR, AND IT WILL GET STOLEN! ALARMS HELP THIEVES AND TERRORISTS!

"Silent Majority aims to give a voice to the thousands of New Yorkers who seethe over car alarms, but who until now could only complain to their neighbors or throw eggs out of their windows. As a united force, we can eliminate car alarms for good. Please join us!"

After we eliminate car alarms, then the beeping alarms that go off when I try to steal CDs from stores! That MUST be stopped!

05/17/2007 - Leacock more popular than Canada

2007-05-17T16:07:00.000-04:00

Leacock more popular than Canada
From: Wikipedia

"Early in his career Leacock turned to fiction, humour, and short reports to supplement (and ultimately exceed) his regular income. His stories, first published in magazines in Canada and the United States and later in novel form became extremely popular around the world. It was said in 1911 that more people had heard of Stephen Leacock than had heard of Canada."

To be fair, it was also believed that colonization would eventually white-out all the blacks in Africa.

05/15/2007 - China saves the Glaciers/Us All

2007-05-15T00:36:00.001-04:00

China saves the Glaciers/Us All
From: Guardian.co.uk

"Chinese weather experts claim to have triggered the first artificial snow showers by releasing tiny particles into clouds over the Tibetan plateau.

"The experiment was hailed as a success for the drought-stricken region, where freshwater lakes are drying up as warmer temperatures force thousands of glaciers into rapid retreat.

"A spokesman for the Tibet meteorological office said artificial snowfall was created by seeding the clouds with particles of silver iodide. The fine particles encourage the formation of ice crystals in the clouds, which grow until they fall as snowflakes."

China "claims" to have triggered artificial snowfall - scientists hire teams of children to stand up on the mountain catching snowflakes on their tongues to verify.

05/13/2007 - Pope Doesn't Like Illegal Drug Dealers

2007-05-13T02:28:00.000-04:00

Pope Doesn't Like Illegal Drug Dealers
From: MSNBC

"Pope Benedict XVI warned drug traffickers Saturday that they would face divine justice for the scourge of illegal narcotics across Latin America, telling them that, “God will call you to account for your deeds.”

"Speaking before a crowd of 6,000 at a drug treatment center, Benedict urged “the drug-dealers to reflect on the grave harm they are inflicting on countless young people and on adults from every level of society.”"

Apparently the Pope is spending the next few months systematically going through damaging illegal processes. Next week, human trafficking, murder and punching cripples.

05/011/2007 - Bloggers Think They Have Rights

2007-05-11T02:57:00.001-04:00

Bloggers Think They Have Rights
From: EFF.org/bloggers

"If you're a blogger, this website is for you.

"EFF's goal is to give you a basic roadmap to the legal issues you may confront as a blogger, to let you know you have rights, and to encourage you to blog freely with the knowledge that your legitimate speech is protected.

"To that end, we have created the Legal Guide for Bloggers, a collection of blogger-specific FAQs addressing everything from fair use to defamation law to workplace whistle-blowing."

This just in - Bloggers make website to protect their inaliable rights to sit on their asses and pretend to be journalists.

Eventually, no one will leave the house to learn ANYTHING. They will just write about what other people, who also don't leave the house, write about.

First person to e-mail me and inform me that I am a blogger will get kicked in the scrotum. If one does not have a scrotum, a prosthetic will held in place and then kicked as if it were a real scrotum.

05/10/2007 - Obama is Secured

2007-05-10T00:07:00.000-04:00

Obama is Secured
From: The Guardian

"Obama was last week given secret service protection after threats appeared on white supremacist websites."

American Politics - Where White Supremacists are just another group to pander to.

05/09/2007 - Remembering That British Poofter

2007-05-09T23:25:00.000-04:00

Remembering that British Poofter
From: BBC News

"How will Tony Blair be remembered?

"What will the prime minister's legacy be when he leaves No 10?

"Tony Blair will "make an announcement" about his future as Labour leader on Thursday, Downing Street has confirmed.

"The prime minister will brief Cabinet colleagues before making a public announcement in his Sedgefield constituency.

"Mr Blair led the modernisation of the Labour Party and adopted a more international agenda after 9/11, sending troops into Afghanistan and Iraq.

"How will history judge his time in office? What have been his key successes and failures? Is the UK a better place to live? How has your life changed?"

RESPONSES:

Mr Blair will be remembered for taking the UK into an Illegal War.

James Moss, Manchester, United Kingdom

In three words - 'The Iraq War'

Mark, Lincolnshire

Quite simply, as the man responsible for destroying Britain.

Anon, London

His best bet is to fuck a pelican the last day in office. Then he'll be remembered for that.

05/08/2007 - Pounds of Pretzels

2007-05-08T11:38:00.000-04:00

Pounds of Pretzels
From: Wikipedia.org

"Annual consumption of pretzels in the U.S. is two pounds (0.9 kg) per person per year. In the mid-Atlantic states, it's 4 pounds (1.8 kg) — and in Philadelphia, it's more than 20 pounds (9 kg)."

The quantity of Lays Chips consumed while uttering "Betcha can't eat just one" is unquantifiable.

05/08/2007 - Pretzels Pray For You

2007-05-08T11:29:00.000-04:00

Pretzels Pray for You
From: Pretzel Bag

"During the early Fifth Century, a German onk took a roll of dough and formed it into a shape representing folded arms in prayer. The monks called them "Pretiolas," or "little rewards." The ideas caught on quickly and monstasteries began baking "little rewards" for their children who learned well."

Pretzels have an agenda.

05/06/2007 - Sarkozy Riots Begin Immediately

2007-05-06T21:40:00.000-04:00

Sarkozy Riots Begin Immediately
From: BBC News

"Conservative Nicolas Sarkozy has won the hotly-contested French presidential election, according to early results.

"The final count gave Mr Sarkozy 53.06%, compared with 46.94% for socialist Segolene Royal, with turnout at 85%.

"Mr Sarkozy, 52, the son of a Hungarian immigrant, takes over from the 74-year-old Jacques Chirac.

"Riot police have fired tear gas at a small group of demonstrators who were protesting in central Paris against Mr Sarkozy's victory."

The French continue the fight their lazy image through violence.

05/04/2007 - Canada Accepts Fuck

2007-05-04T10:54:00.001-04:00

Canada Accepts Fuck
From: Wikipedia

"The Canadian Press now considers the word [fuck] to be commonplace and has added usage advice to the Canadian Press Caps and Spelling guide. [1]"

05/03/2007 - Ashley Evil Dead

2007-05-03T01:36:00.000-04:00

Ashley Evil Dead
From: Marvel Zombies vs Army of Darkness

The name Ash, our hero from Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, is short for Ashley.

Ashley J. Williams.

I can't believe I respected a man named Ashley.

05/02/2007 - Twinkies

2007-05-02T13:32:00.000-04:00

Twinkies
From: Esquire.com

"Phosphorus, part of a key Twinkie ingredient, was discovered in 1669 by German alchemist Hennig Brand when he boiled down the urine he collected from local nuns."

Not surprisingly, the bodily fluid of nuns were a commonly collected and traded enterprise during the period discussed, and in some regard, are still today, depending on what kind of art exhibit you trip into while walking down the street.

04/09/2007 - Assiduous

2007-04-09T23:52:00.000-04:00

Assiduous
From: Dictionary.com

Assiduous
as·sid·u·ous [uh-sij-oo-uhs] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective

1.	constant; unremitting: assiduous reading.

2.	constant in application or effort; working diligently at a task; persevering; industrious; attentive: an assiduous student.

04/05/2007 - Download Your Organ

2007-04-05T19:15:00.000-04:00

Download Your Organs
From: Wired

"Sha performed his first organ soul download in July 2003 while teaching acupuncture at a Toronto retreat."The Divine came to me and said, Zhi Gang, transmit my soul software -- a spiritual program -- to humanity for healing," Sha explains. "The Divine also told me to transmit soul acupuncture. He told me, I will download a soul acupuncture needle. Silent DownLOAAAD!!"

I did not add the Silent DownLOAAAD!! Though I wish I had.

03/31/2007 - Another Reason I need an Alias

2007-03-31T21:25:00.000-04:00

Another reason I need an Alias
From: Wikipedia.org

Tim O'Brien, Dublin born media oracle, philosopher & bad gambler.

"Tim is well renowned for his view on life in general and his often far fetched and unusual thinking. He is famous for numerous quotations that have led him to be one of the most amusing acquaintances.

"Examples include: -

"1. Someone commented, "Dublin people are the worst people for using bad language". His response was, "F**K off that's B****CKS!"

"2. "SCLUB7 were better than the Beatles!"

"3. "Annie Lennox used to be in the Arithmetics". (Eurythmics)

"4. "Tina Turner famously sang the track, NUTBRUSH CITY LIMITS".

"5. Immediately after threatening to give Stephen Kavanagh a piece of his mind and saying he would never help him out again, Stephen jumped into the queue in the canteen and asked, "Tim could you get me a bowl of chips please?", Tim's reply was, "Sure Stephen one bowl or Two?". That told him !!

"6. "Heroin helps solve peoples problems".

"7. "Did you hear about IBM looking to takeover Broadband?"

"Other Tim O'Brien facts:

"1. Claimed that his highest break was 76 in snooker. He managed 6 in the Multiplex. He blamed the tables as he was used to playing on the junior pot black table bought in Argos for €39.99.

"2. Claimed he was a good golfer. After borrowing my clubs after his were discovered to have woodworm he then teed off from the first hole hitting the ball out of bounds and narrowly missing an oncoming car. He finished 125 over (Par 3 - 54 was a level score)

"3. Has never won a bet.

"4. Claimed to have worked as a barman for some time. While out one evening Tim can back from the bar with three tequila slammers. We had a little race and of course Tim came last. While we were all sucking the last bit of juice from the lemon Tim was in a bit of pain as he had incorrectly sniffed the salt up his nose instead of licking it??. He recovered eventually - but he did look like he had a bad dose of hayfever for the rest of the evening.

"5. Claimed to be a great quiz contestant. To test this claim we generated some random general knowledge questions to determine how good he was compared to myself. He did not win a round. This was in fact another bet which he lost."

I don't even know how this guy fits into the Wikipedia Guidelines, but I can't fucking measure up to this.

03/31/2007 - Leary - Buried in Space

2007-03-31T21:23:00.000-04:00

Leary - Buried in Space
From: Wikipedia.org

"Leary's death was videotaped for posterity at his request, capturing his final words. This video has never been publicly seen but will be included in a documentary currently in production^{[citation needed]}. At one point in his final delirium, he said, "Why not?" to his son Zachary. He uttered the phrase repeatedly, in different intonations and died soon after. His last word, according to Zach Leary, was "beautiful". With the movie Timothy Leary's Dead, filmmakers capitalized on his initial desire for cryogenic preservation by secretly creating a fake decapitation sequence.

"Seven grams of Leary's ashes were arranged by his friend at Celestis to be buried in space Gene Roddenberry (creator of Star Trek), Gerard O'Neill (space physicist), Krafft Ehricke (rocket scientist), and others. A Pegasus rocket containing their remains was launched on February 9, 1997, and remained in orbit for six years until it burnt up in the atmosphere." aboard a rocket carrying the remains of 24 other people including

The strange thing is that he's described as having been "buried in space."

When I go, I want to be "bulletted at the moon."

03/11/2007 - Lee Van Cleef can Beat You Up By Looking at You

2007-03-11T22:19:00.000-04:00

Lee Van Cleef Can Beat you up by Looking at You
From: Wikipedia.org

"He lost the tip of his middle finger on his right hand while building a playhouse for his daughter. This can be seen in the close-up shots of his hand during the gunfights in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."

03/11/2007 - Adjunct

2007-03-11T14:13:00.001-04:00

Adjunct
From: Dictionary.com

ad·junct [aj-uhngkt]

1.	something added to another thing but not essential to it.

2.	a person associated with lesser status, rank, authority, etc., in some duty or service; assistant.

3.	a person working at an institution, as a college or university, without having full or permanent status: My lawyer works two nights a week as an adjunct, teaching business law at the college.

4.	Grammar. a modifying form, word, or phrase depending on some other form, word, or phrase, esp. an element of clause structure with adverbial function.

–adjective

5.	joined or associated, esp. in an auxiliary or subordinate relationship.

6.	attached or belonging without full or permanent status: an adjunct surgeon on the hospital staff.

I don't care what they say, "aj-uhngkt" is not helping.

03/10/2007 - Exorcising the Bush

2007-03-10T20:37:00.003-05:00

Exorcising the Bush
From: Yahoo.com

"Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate "bad spirits" after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday.

""That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture," Juan Tiney, the director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan religious and political leaders, said Thursday."

03/08/2007 - Zach It was real?

2007-03-08T21:05:00.000-05:00

It was real?
From: avclub.com

"AVC: Do you think audiences didn't realize that those were real people being interviewed?

"ZG: I think that was part of the problem. People thought they were actors, and you have to know that they're real people to appreciate it. But it's kind of flattering that they didn't know. There was one episode that never aired where we went to a real KKK rally. I got to ask the grand wizard of the KKK if he'd ever seen Big Momma's House 3. Which was probably the highlight of my career."

03/05/2007 - Estonia, Kicking our asses since 2007

2007-03-05T03:17:00.001-05:00

Estonia, Kicking our asses since 2007
From: BBC.co.uk

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4343374.stm

"Voters in Estonia are going to the polls on Sunday in local elections but, for the first time, nearly all of them have already had the chance to cast their vote if they want to via the internet.

" About 800,000 Estonians, or 80% of those on the electoral roll, have access to a new e-voting system, the largest run by any European Union country.

"It has been made possible because most Estonians now carry a national identity card equipped with a computer-readable microchip and it is these cards which they use to get access to the online ballot.

"All a voter needs is a computer, an electronic card reader, their ID card and its PIN number, and they can vote from anywhere in the world.

"E-votes could only be cast during three days of advance voting for these elections. On election day itself people have to go to polling stations and fill in a paper ballot."

I wonder if I can cast a vote in that election via these internets.

03/03/2007 - Vulgar the Clown

2007-03-03T18:15:00.001-05:00

Vulgar the Clown
From: Wikipedia.org

"Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier executive produced this (Vulgar) film and "Good Will Hunting" back-to-back."

No wonder there's a recurring theme of clown rape in Good Will Hunting.

03/02/2007 - Wool

2007-03-02T01:06:00.001-05:00

Wool
From: Peta.org

Peta is against Wool.

02/26/2007 - Christian Right Not Happy About 2008 Outlook

2007-02-26T22:25:00.000-05:00

Christian Right Not Happy About 2008 Outlook
From: NYTimes.com

"A group of influential Christian conservatives and their allies emerged from a private meeting at a Florida resort this month dissatisfied with the Republican presidential field and uncertain where to turn.

"The event was a meeting of the Council for National Policy, a secretive club whose few hundred members include Dr. James C. Dobson of Focus on the Family, the Rev. Jerry Falwell of Liberty University and Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform. Although little known outside the conservative movement, the council has become a pivotal stop for Republican presidential primary hopefuls, including George W. Bush on the eve of his 1999 primary campaign.

"Many conservatives have already declared their hostility to Senator John McCain of Arizona, despite his efforts to make amends for having once denounced Christian conservative leaders as “agents of intolerance,” and to former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani of New York, because of his liberal views on abortion and gay rights and his three marriages."

"Conservatives warn that the 2008 election could shape up like 1996, when conservatives faced a lesser-of-two evils choice between a Republican they distrusted, former Senator Bob Dole, and a Democrat they disdained, President Bill Clinton."

They should abstain from the vote. Like in Student Council Elections, just vote for that square that says "None of the Above." That'll fucking show the lefties.

If they get all their friends and psychotic neighbours organized, they could really waste a lot of American Electoral Money to show their dissatisfaction.

WHO'S WITH ME?

2/26/2007 - Smelting Weapons

2007-02-26T20:19:00.000-05:00

Smelting Weapons
From: Wired

"I am reminded of the story of the rifles in the Northwest Frontier. Over a hundred years ago, the British were amazed to find that their tribal opponents were armed with modern Martini-Henry rifles. Efforts to find where they were being imported from were fruitless. The Martini-Henrys were counterfeit, perfect copies manufactured locally in blasksmiths' forges; these days replica AK-47s (and who knows what else) are turned out by the same method Intermediate technology can be powerful when it is used constructive ends."

2/26/07 - Fine, I'll buy Mouse Guard

2007-02-26T19:33:00.001-05:00

Fine, I'll buy Mouse Guard
From: Newsarama.com

“Last year here at the New York Comic Con,” recounts Petersen, “this guy comes up to the booth and presents me with this really nice, tiny, mouse-sized sword.” Impressed by the workmanship involved, Petersen asked him how he made it. “It looked like, I think, a square trunk nail and some wiring. But he just says, ‘I think it’s mouse technology, 14th century.’ He wouldn’t ‘break character,’ no matter what I asked.

“So, playing along, I ask, ‘How do you suppose they made it?’ All he says is: ‘I don’t know…Little hands?’”

I can't even wait for the damn trade these days without getting co-opted by a good story or a creator who deserves a bit of my money.

I haven't even opened the first volume of Cerebus yet. I just knew that Simms deserved a chance and some of my money.

I should have taken up crack. It would have been cheaper. Also, less good crack stories to coopt me into more crack.

2/20/2007 - Hybrid Cars are out there - Hunting

2007-02-20T18:31:00.001-05:00

Hybrid Cars are out there - Hunting
From: Yahoo News

"An association of blind Americans has warned that cars with hybrid engines using electricy and fuel are dangerously too quiet for pedestrians.

"The National Federation of the Blind (NFB) said hybrid cars pose a risk to the blind, children, the elderly, cyclists and distracted pedestrians.

"The group said it conducted tests with blind people.

""We had the car drive by in different situations, to see wether or not people could hear it and use the sound of the car to safely cross the street, and they could not. The car was just silent," NFB spokesman John Pare told AFP.

"Pare said NFB does not want to add to noise pollution, but hybrid cars should not be less noisy than other cars.

"Chris Danielsen, a 36-year-old NFB member, said up to 30 people took part in tests on a side street and in an alleyway with a Toyota Prius and a Honda Civic.

""By the time anybody detected it, if we had actually been standing in the road, it would have taken out three or four people.""

2/20/2007 - Tom DeLay's Unemployed Interns

2007-02-20T01:20:00.001-05:00

Tom Delay's Unemployed Interns
From: Rolling Stone Online

"Check out a two minute teaser for Fox News’ answer to the Daily Show, featuring (and I’m totally making this up) Tom DeLay’s unemployed interns on laugh track."

Irrelevant. Tom DeLay's interns are unemployed and probably are laughing at this.

And they are unemployed and sad.

And I hate them.

2/19/2007 - Hohos

2007-02-19T19:13:00.000-05:00

Hohos
From: Wikipedia.org

"Nutritional Information

Serving Size 58 g

Servings Per Container 5

Amount Per Serving

Calories 250 Calories from Fat 110

Total Fat 130g 18%

Saturated Fat 50g 40%

Cholesterol 20mg 7%

Sodium 150mg 6%

Total Carbohydrate 34g 44%

Dietary Fiber 1g 4%

Sugars 23g

Protein 2g

Calcium 2%

Iron 6%"

"Perhaps best known for the 1970s-era jingle it spawned:

HoHos!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

The Chocolatey snack that gives you go!

It's candy and cake

All in one

It's two great treats

And so much fun!"

2/16/2007 - The Rum Diary - Really?

2007-02-15T20:20:00.001-05:00

The Rum Diary - Really?
From: Wikipedia.org

"The Rum Diary is an early novel by American writer Hunter S. Thompson that was written in the early 1960's but was not published until 1998."

I did not know I was so close to the first generation of Hunter readers on the book.

God, everything must have sucked in the 60s, 70s, 80s and onward.

02/15/2007 - All will become clear

2007-02-15T01:15:00.000-05:00

All will become Clear
From: Google + Dan

CLICK IT.

2/14/2007 - Sons of Lee Marvin

2007-02-14T12:29:00.001-05:00

Sons of Lee Marvin
From: Wikipedia.org

"Jarmusch is the founder of The Sons of Lee Marvin, a humorous 'semi-secret society'. Members of the society reportedly include musician Tom Waits and actor John Lurie, both of whom have worked with Jarmusch on several occasions. Richard Bose, Nick Cave, Iggy Pop (who has also worked with Jarmusch), Thurston Moore, Mickey Rourke and Neil Young are also rumored to be members.

"The entry criterion for the club is that the person must have some physical resemblance or plausibly look like a son of the actor Lee Marvin — as such, women are not allowed to join. Most current members also share what seems to be a beat mentality in that they represent and express the lives of the down and out.

"The club supposedly meets occasionally to watch Lee Marvin movies together. Its members perpetuate the joke in the media.

"I'm not at liberty to divulge information about the organization, other than to tell you that it does exist. I can identify three other members of the organization: Tom Waits, John Lurie, and Richard Bose. You have to have a facial structure such that you could be related to, or be a son of, Lee Marvin. There are no women, obviously, in the organization. We have communiques and secret meetings. Other than that, I can't talk about it."

—Jim Jarmusch: Interview: Vol. XIX - No. 11, 1989: pp 146-150.

"The real son of Lee Marvin objected to the existence of the organization when he encountered Waits in a bar.^[2]"

The Real Son of Lee Marvin then went on to create a group titled THE real REAL SON of LEE FUCKING MARVIN, featuring only himself as a member. The two groups have been at war ever since.

2/12/2007 - Perch on Ebay

2007-02-12T20:04:00.001-05:00

Perch on Ebay
From: Chron.com

"DALLAS — A window owned by a man who says it was Lee Harvey Oswald's sniper perch when he killed President John F. Kennedy is up for auction on eBay."

Now if only we can devise a way to test the grassy gnoll dirt jars out there for authenticity. Like the True Cross, it's everywhere.

2/12/2007 - Space Potatoes in the 21st Century

2007-02-12T15:14:00.000-05:00

Space Potatoes in the 21st Century
From: BBC.Co.UK

"Entrepreneurs in Shanghai are pushing the city's latest food fad for Valentine's Day - a purple potato grown from seeds taken on a space mission.

"The sweet potato seeds were part of experiments on China's second manned space mission, Shenzhou VI, last year.

"Supporters say space-grown produce can be more nutritious and hardier, though sceptics say similar results can be obtained in Earth-bound laboratories.

"They included salads appetisers, desserts and even an iced drink, the China Daily newspaper reported."

We're really pushing it looking for exotic food now. Soon Cameron Diaz will only bathe in distilled collected from the upper stratosphere.

2/11/2007 - Bendis just wants Five Pounds of Gummy Bears

2007-02-11T23:56:00.001-05:00

Bendis just wants Five Pounds of Gummy Bears
From: Amazon.com/Comic Foundry

Brian Bendis' wish list features a list of good looking books, and then a cotton candy machine and five pound bags of gummy bears.

Comic Foundry found other people's Wish List as well.

I'm down with Fraction and Vaughan, I never want to see Johns' DVD collection.

2/11/2007 - Thanks! Now I really need a moniker

2007-02-11T01:28:00.001-05:00

Thanks! Now I really need a moniker.
From: Amazon.ca

"TrumpNation (Paperback)

by Timothy L O'Brien (Author)"

It wouldn't even be that bad if one of the other Tim O'Briens didn't write bloody stories about the damned sea.

02/07/2007 - Patron Saits of Ailments, Illness and Dangers

2007-02-07T22:33:00.000-05:00

Patron Saits of Ailments, Illness and Dangers
From: Wikipedia.org

Agatha - breast cancer
Agricola of Avignon - bubonic plague, misfortunes
Andrew Avellino - sudden death
Andrew Corsini - riot, civil disorder
Apollinare - epilepsy, gout
Apollonia - toothache
Augustine of Hippo - sore eyes
Balbina - scrofula
Blaise - ailments of the throat
Coloman - plague, sick horses, against hanging
Cornelius - twitching, earache, epilepsy, fever
Crescentinus - headache
Cyriacus - eye disease
Domninus - rabies
Dymphna - sleepwalking, epilepsy, insanity, mental illness
Epipodius - victims of betrayal and of torture
Fiacre - Venereal disease sufferers, hemorrhoids
Fourteen Holy Helpers - epidemics, bubonic plague or the Black Death
Gereon -headaches, migraine
Gertrude of Nivelles -invoked against fever, rats, and mice, particularly field-mice.
Gratus of Aosta -fear of insects
Harvey -eye problems, eye disease
Hippolytus of Rome - sick horses
James the Great - rheumatism
John of Bridlington - women in difficult labor
Jude Thaddaeus - lost causes, desperate situations
Julia of Corsica - pathologies of the hands and the feet
Juliana of Nicomedia - childbirth, sickness
Leodegar - blindness, eye disease, eye problems, sore eyes
Lucy of Syracuse - haemorrhage, eye complaints
Marculf - scrofula, diseases of the skin
Saint Maurus - rheumatism, gout, epilepsy
Patroclus of Troyes- demons, fever
Saint Peregrine Laziosi - cancer, AIDS
Pancras - cramp, headache
Saint Pio of Pietrelcina - Stress relief and New year blues
Polycarp - earache, dysentery
Saint Quentin - coughs, sneezes, and dropsy.
Quiteria - against rabies
Saint Servatius - invoked against foot troubles, lameness, rheumatism, rats, and mice
Simon of Trent - torture and kidnap victims (no longer venerated)
Suitbert of Kaiserwerdt - angina
Symphorian - syphilis, eye troubles
Teresa of Avila - headaches
Ubald - migraine, neuralgia, sick children, autism, obessive compulsive disorder
Ursicinus of Saint-Ursanne - invoked against stiff neck
Ursus of Aosta -faintness, kidney disease, and rheumatism
Vitus - chorea
Winnoc - fever, whooping cough
Wulfram of Sens is called upon for protection against the dangers of the sea.

My saint is Corsini. And one of the dozen regarding the eyes. You can never have too many saints protecting your eyes.